dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
