I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
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