I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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