You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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