Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
