I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
