I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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