Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
