Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Did I show you my penis last night?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
