im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
