im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
