If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
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