escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
BRING THE BAGELS
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
