Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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