just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
