It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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