So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
