i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
