now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize