So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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