I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
