I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
