i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
