Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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