I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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