I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
