Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
