I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
too bad you live with your parents still
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
