Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Randomize
