How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
