She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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