Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize