that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
