are you still at the devil's house?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
