So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Randomize
