As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
