I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
