We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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