can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
