it hurts more in the daytime
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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