Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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