he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
