Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
