she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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