I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
