piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize