so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
