if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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