You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
