He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
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I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
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I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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