I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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