Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
