so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
