I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize