Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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