Just fell off a train. Bad.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
