All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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