i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
