Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
