That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
