god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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