i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I pour the whiskey from now on
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
