perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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