my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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