Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
