It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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