I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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