did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
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