oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
