wrigley field is MILF paradise
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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