Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
