If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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