I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
